Negativity vs Positivity (Guest Post!)

This is a guest post written by my wonderful older sister. I hope you all enjoy it!

Negativity Becomes Positivity

A happy, positive life.  That’s what we all want, right?  

I see so many posts on Facebook and hear conversations in real life focusing on the negative.  Even though I am about to mention the “negative” I promise you there is positivity in the end.

You see, much of my adolescent life I felt that my family and I had been handed a very rough deal in life.  With me going through rheumatoid arthritis, my brother being born with cerebral palsy and my sister discovering she has Chiari Malformation, sometimes it was difficult to find the so-called silver lining.  I started to wonder how much one family can endure and then my mom got into a car accident that has pretty much confined her to a wheelchair. 

Yes, my family has been going through (and continues to go through) a lot.  I know my dad has tried so hard to be the strong one in our family so that we could cry and complain about our problems freely.  Sometimes I wonder how much pain my dad is hiding.  I know my mom continues to think of others before herself when she really needs to focus on getting better (or the most pain free she can be) and have a “normal” life.  I have seen my sarcastic, smart-ass sister go from not caring what anyone else thinks to wondering if she will ever have a normal life because of her debilitating migraines.  My family and friends often ask how my brother is.  I usually laugh and say that he is the most carefree out of all of us.  He gives us an attitude like a normal brother and is happiest surrounded by friends at his adult program.  More noticeable than that, I believe he is often the happiest in our family and feels he has a “normal” life.  This is all he has ever known and he not only makes the best of it, he embraces it.   

I am inspired by him and the rest of my family.  I have become more positive because of them.  As a matter of fact, you will hardly ever see negative posts on my Facebook or even talk about negativity in real life.  Sure, I feel it sometimes and even voice it to only those closest to me.  But there is so much negativity in the world that I don’t want to add to it.  Why would anyone want to ever contribute to pulling others down with them?  But it happens.  You will always hear there are others worse off than you but have you ever stopped and thought those that are worse off may have more positivity in their lives than you imagined?

Here’s the positivity I promised:

• My dad has created a relationship with my brother that probably would not have happened if he didn’t have cerebral palsy.  Yes, my dad would have had a great relationship with him no matter what.   But because of his disability, my dad spends so much time with him that their relationship is unlike anything I have ever seen.  

• My mom has been a strong-willed, beautiful person all of my life.  She advocated for my brother, my sister and I as we went through our disabilities and never took no for an answer.  I believe this has helped her in her life now.  Ever since the accident I have definitely seen her spirit in a dark place but never lost.  She always keeps going because this is her new “normal”.  I know she will continue to do things for others before herself but now it’s our turn to do what she did for us.  Her positivity during our hardships has inspired us to do the same.

• My sister and what she has gone through (and continues to go through) has affected me so much.  She is my best friend and she is the practical one that everyone goes to advice for.  I feel sometimes her giving, beautiful spirit has been taken advantage of, yet she continues to give.  Her migraines then began to bring her down but again, she still cared for others even if she was hurting.  I believe this has worked to her advantage though.  Now, she is taking control of her new “normal” life.  We no longer ask how her head is feeling because that is not who she is.  She will let us know if she needs to.  She is taking back her health in the way she can – by eating healthier and getting stronger.  She is focusing on finding a career and volunteering for those with special needs because she wants to help others the way she and our family have been helped.  I don’t think any of that would have been happening if it weren’t for her disabilities.  I believe it is her turn to focus on her and those that have tried to take advantage of her or bring negativity into her life will melt away behind her.  She is going to make a positive difference in the world.

• My brother, as you read above, is an amazing person who will continue to light up any roomful of people that is lucky enough to have him.

• And me?  In the past few years, I have become the most positive I have ever felt in my whole life because of my family.  How can I think negatively when there is so much good that comes from them?

So next time you are thinking of all those negative things, remember all the positive things.  That’s all anyone is going to remember anyway so why spend so much of the time you have on earth thinking of the negative that no one else will even remember?

As for that happy, positive life?  You are the only one who can make it happen…my family is living proof.